Hellooo out there.... there... there. Anyone remember me... me ... me? Still look here? This will be kind of a long, unnecessary & downright confusing read for anyone who doesn't know me/care, but I feel I owe some sort of explanation for my strange & silly absence. What you see above is a fair representation of what has kept me occupied the past two months. I have been vacationing in Calgary, crafting my hands to the bone & more importantly, trying to screw my head on right again after yet another hard drive mishap that left me half a person. You might recall reading a similar story here last year. Yep, that's right, this is the second time I lost my precious pics. Save for a dozen pictures that are still around due to e-mailing them to family, what I've uploaded to flickr since Halloween is now all I have left of what was once a flourishing hard drive fat with pictures in the thousands. That's just it though, the reason for this tangent in the first place. See, it's this sick condition I have wherein I'm simply mentally unable to post/share new pictures unless I have first caught up on commenting the photos of contacts. It was the same story when I had a livejournal and open diary... I couldn't make an entry without catching up on noting all my friends' newest additions beforehand. I guess what has become an even bigger issue than that however is that the longer I leave it, the more massive a task it seems. I'll spend an entire day commenting half my contact's photos vowing to finish the other half up the next day & by the time I do that - the first half have posted new pictures I feel I ought to comment before uploading new stuff myself. Stark raving crazy, huh? Meanwhile I waste my pro account, leave countless people scratching their heads as to my whereabouts & jeopardize the longevity of my photos by leaving them sitting on my computer when I could have established an online back-up of them if I could get over this stupid block. Anyone still with me? :) What kills me is that if I didn't think this particular way, so many damn pictures would have been salvaged by being up here. I realize my issues are lame & how severely in need I am of a good shake or slap... both in regards to this embarrassing confession AND because I don't back up my freaking pictures... it has been so long since I even 'spoke' in any kind of public way I am eyeing the delete key fiercely at the moment, worried my words sound nuts. I know if I don't act on this sudden urge to blow the dust off my neglected account now though, another month or two will pass before I get the urge again. And I promised myself I would never let my flickr stream fall by the wayside. I've just thrown myself so intensely into making dolls & taking new photos to breathe new life back into my sagging spirits (& it has proved to be so beautifully beneficial & healing just like I'd hoped), but the fact remains I miss the friends I have made here... as well as the ability to participate that I have ultimately taken away from myself by being so anal about certain rituals. I want to upload some new/newish photos, not just to preserve them in case of future fiascoes but also because I just MISS doing so. Besides a brief recovering period just after losing the contents of my hard drive both times the past year, there really isn't a day that goes by wherein I don't produce at least a hundred pictures, but most never see the light of day here, yet photography is by far my most colossal & insatiable passion. Are you starting to understand now just how much of a lunatic I am guys? Anyhow... I'm going to try my best to go on some sort of uploading spree today, tonight & over the course of the next few days. I'll be commenting sporadically here, there & in between. I don't dare read what I have written or it will all get zapped away. I have so much to share, and as corny as it sounds I don't even mean just photo-wise. I just love all you flickrheads so much. Thanks for readin'.